Rise of Skywalker

First things first, I’m a huge Star Wars geek. I remember the first time watching the movies (I was sick in fifth grade and watch Empire Strikes Back because the AT-ATs on the cover of the VHS tape looked cool), I’ve gone to advanced screenings, and I have so many LEGO Star Wars products that I’m not even sure what to do with them. So yes, this review is a bit biased.

The Emporer

OK, look if you are concerned about spoilers the movies been out for three months now. They also had the Emperor in the Teaser so you knew this was coming. Yet if you watched The Last Jedi and The Force Awakens…you didn’t. Please, please, please, if there is some hint I missed from those movies about the Emperor’s return, please comment what it is because there’s absolutely nothing. I’m not saying I wanted a random shot or a background image of the fleet. I would be happy if a commander in the background was looking at a screen that said Exegol.

The Sith

As mentioned, I’m a huge Star Wars nerd but not that huge. I know there’s a wealth of canon material that I’ve never watched/read/heard. I know a very small amount about the Sith, probably about the same as anyone who has watched the movies. Yet in Rise we have a plot that is central to the rise of the Sith. We see their cultish appearance, the ritual the Palpatine kept referring to, and even their secret planet. If this was an earlier movie, fine. But this was THE END. The “epic conclusion”. You can’t just throw in something that massive at the eleventh hour and expect it to be great. Also the red Sith Troopers are clearly a marketing ploy. We barely see them in the movie yet they’re on every toy set.

Background Characters

Finn, Rose, the former stormtrooper squad. There’s so much potential there! Episode 8 focuses on Finn and Rose and their relationship yet in 9? Almost nothing. And that group of former stormtroopers? I want an entire movie about them. I fear I know what Disney’s doing: more movies. Now on the surface that’s not bad. But Disney knows how popular Star Wars is as a franchise. They shouldn’t make movies just to make movies. These new movies need to better explore past eras, past characters, and those in-between times of the movies (which The Mandalorian does very well). Too many new movies will lessen the impact that Star Wars has on this generation and on the generation that grew up with it, whether it be seeing it in theaters or watching it while home sick in the fifth grade.

The End

Look, I’m not going to complain about Rey naming herself a Skywalker. In fact I thought it was fitting. What I want to complain about is the lack of Force Ghosts, undeniably one of the coolest parts of these movies. Throughout the entire sequel trilogy we get Yoda, Luke, and Leia. But there was the chance to have so many more, especially on that Tatooine background. Sure, we get the voices earlier on, but that should serve as an indication that something bigger was coming. Having the Force ghosts at the end would welcome Rey into the force. We see the yellow lightsaber which alludes to the Grey Jedi, so those force ghosts could even include Vader (the Sebastian Shaw version) and even Kylo Ren. We could have Darth Maul, Count Dooku, Mace Windu, Plo Koon, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, so many presences in the force. It would have shown the Force’s/past force users acceptance of who Rey was and that she is a proper Force user. But we just get Luka and Leia. Truly a missed opportunity.


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How to Sink a Ship on Purpose

Perhaps one of the most thrilling aspects of watching James Cameron’s 1997 “Titanic” is that it’s real. There’s no green screen, no CGI sinking. It’s all real. If you’ve ever seen photos like the one below, you should be just as amazed as I am. While watching and subsequently reviewing “Titanic” you can truly feel the realness of the movie.

Of course, I could spurt off a bunch of facts about how they did it. How the people running were bits of data, how Jack’s death scene was actually filmed in a lukewarm pool, or how they only built the port side of the ship and scenes on the starboard side the film was literally flipped. No, instead I want to look at the benefits of doing the real thing.

While filming for one of the Hobbit prequels, it was reported that Ian McKellen broke down crying amidst a sea of green screens, upset that this is not how he had envisioned acting. And it’s true. Have you ever seen a play? Have you ever paid attention to how much the actors feel their way on stage, how they are able to connect so well with the set and their cast? It’s because things are actually happening.

Now, yes, there are times when CGI becomes necessary. We can’t shoot space battles, we can’t have an 8-foot tall purple giant, and we can’t teleport. But those are all minor things. While there isn’t a Thanos-sized person, Josh Brolin wore a special setup to both capture his movement and give the other actors a sense of where to look. And Star Wars, at its core, still exists without space battles. Sure it’d be different, but the space scenes are more of a filler.

Now, are there benefits to CGI? Well, of course. You can travel to far off worlds, under the sea, and produce movies for a lot less money. But it becomes a risk analysis, which I am not too familiar with so won’t bore you with it. CGI is like the frosting on a cake.

Your plot is the flour and eggs.

Your characters are the baking powder.

Your setting is the flavoring.

All the other aspects are the little bits-chocolate chips, spices, etc.

CGI is the frosting.

If you have a good cake, a lack of frosting is no problem. Yes, frosting is great and adds to it, but it does not constitute the entirety of the cake. And cake with too much frosting doesn’t taste good.

The next time you watch a movie or play, pay attention to how the actors engage with their surroundings. See them fill the space and bring the performance to life. Yes, building the Titanic was a huge job, but it made the movie so much more realistic.


Comment down below what your opinions of this movie are, and don’t forget to check out my Instagram Page (@ChrisMovieReviews), catch up on past reviews and new movie reviews on my YouTube (bit.ly/CMRYT), look at all the movies I’ve yet to review, and submit which movie you want me to review next! And don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter and leave a comment for me to read during one of my reviews. Stay healthy and safe out there!

Onward

If you’re looking for a way to kill just under 2 hours and want to leave it feeling mildly fine, this is the movie for you. Onward, as mentioned in my review, is a fun little escape from reality. We get to see magic and creatures and a pari of pants. Above all we get the relationship and Disney knows that.

Where Real Meets Fantasy

As I mentioned in my review, I really enjoyed how we get a combination of both this magical world and what can be interpreted as our world. It’s clearly set in an Earth-adjacent setting. Heck, we start out with ancient forces that are soon taken over and transform into a city with skyscrapers and roads. We see Ian learning to drive. There’s a restaurant with heavy theming. We look at these elements and we can relate. And yet, the characters look different, there’s magic, and the owner of that restaurant is a mythical beast. We’re not thrust fully into a strange land. All fantasy and sci-fi does this. Even movies like Lord of the Rings, we still have humans in there because that’s how we relate. Even just speaking English (or your native language) is enough to connect. Imagine a movie where the characters were not humanoid, they spoke an alien language, they didn’t live somewhere that looked like Earth, essentially there is no connection whatsoever to humanity. Nobody would watch that.

A Pair of Pants

I have to give it to Disney, using a pair of pants is an incredibly clever device. Not only that, they made the pants sentient and they became a character in and of themselves. I can’t think of many other films (or any pieces of media really) that use a sentient piece of clothing as a character. All I can think of is a strange musical play that tells Michael Jackson’s story through the perspective of his gloves (I promise you this is an actual musical). Other than that, I draw a blank on pieces of media that use a piece of clothing so heavily and have it sentient. Please tell me if there’s one that I missed in the comments.

The way Disney personified the pants and actually gave them character is what most impresses me. It’s truly a lesson in non-verbal communication. You can tell when the pants are nervous and when they’re happy. Heck, if you told me that somebody had actually acted out the part of “Pants” I would not be surprised. There is not a single line spoken by the pants, yet we still get this 3-D character that is an integral part of the story.

And yet…

“Onward” is just an OK movie. As mentioned, it’s made for kids so I didn’t expect any serious moments or learning opportunities. The real world/fantasy world has been done before, especially by Disney. Yes the pants are a unique part of the movie but one unique part doesn’t equal a great movie. Everything else in this movie is your standard writers-workshop movie. A good movie night if you have kids, but other than that there’s not much else.


Comment down below what your opinions of this movie are, and don’t forget to check out my Instagram Page (@ChrisMovieReviews), catch up on past reviews and new movie reviews on my YouTube (bit.ly/CMRYT), look at all the movies I’ve yet to review, and submit which movie you want me to review next! And don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter and leave a comment for me to read during one of my reviews. Stay healthy and safe out there!

StepBrothers

Reviewing this movie was my first time seeing Step-Brothers. And frankly I’m not upset. I chose to watch it for National Sibling’s Day and I sorta wish I hadn’t. In fact, I’m struggling to even write this review. There just wasn’t much thought, I feel, on behalf of the writers. Every scene felt like they just went “How can we mess this up more”. They flip-flopped their way to an ending that came out of nowhere and disregarded the little bits of info that had been explained earlier in the movie.

Writing Comedy

Look, I’ve taken writing classes and almost got my MFA in Creative Writing before switching to Public Relations. I’m not saying I’m a genius writer, but there are so many better ways to write a comedy, to develop a through-line, to connect the story, build everything up. Instead they just started screaming and it became a time of pure chaos. I know it’s supposed to be silly buy silly doesn’t mean stupid.

I really don’t know what else to say. I wish it had been better but it wasn’t.

Finally, a shout-out to the best sister ever! Thank you for always being there for me! I’m glad we don’t have a relationship like the pair in the movie…


Comment down below what your opinions of this movie are, and don’t forget to check out my Instagram Page (@ChrisMovieReviews), catch up on past reviews and new movie reviews on my YouTube (bit.ly/CMRYT), look at all the movies I’ve yet to review, and submit which movie you want me to review next! And don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter and leave a comment for me to read during one of my reviews. Stay healthy and safe out there!

The Beauty of Film

When we go to the movies, we expect a certain level of quality. We expect that the cinematographer has done their job, the Visual FX department has covered up the Starbucks cup and all other means of making the movie into what it is: a movie.

But there is a time when a movie becomes more than that, an example like 1917. It becomes cinema. And, heck, there can even be argues a third version-Film. So what makes these all different? The purpose.

Movie

Quite simply, a movie is a moving picture intended to entertain. It’s intended to be watched again and again, to tell a story, evoke emotions, et cetera. We all know what a movie is and it’s also an umbrella term for any long piece of moving pictures.

Film

Now, film can mean movie. But, at least in my brain, film is educational. Not that you can’t learn from a movie, but a film’s main purpose is to educate. You may watch a film about railroads, but a movie about a train robbery.

Cinema

This is, I think, the most pretentious distinction there is. “It’s not a movie, it’s cinema.” Cinema aims to wow the audience. It tells a story in a way that is so unique, so breathtaking that it is talked about not for the story but for the elements in it. The director sets out with a vision in mind, not of where the characters will go but of what the finished product will look like.

Does it matter?

Frankly, no. If you watch a movie/film/cinema and enjoy it, then you’re correct. If you learn something you’re correct. If you’re wowed by an element you’re correct. There is no wrong way to experience any of these. All that matters is that you do.


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Ride or Movie? Which Came First?

If you’ve been to a Disney Park or are even just a fan, you know of the Pirates of The Caribbean ride. Yet when you ask most people, they think of the movie franchise first. Everybody seems to gloss over the fact that the ride was constructed in 1967. Yes, you read that right. There’s all sorts of transfer of mediums with entertainment. You see movies as Broadway shows, TV shows as movies, musicals as movies, and so many other variations. Yet a quick Wikipedia search shows just seven rides that were turned into movies.

Now, I’ve been on the Pirates ride before (and actually got stuck on it!) and Disney even did a really cool documentary called “The Imagineering Story” on Disney+ that featured the ride and talked about how it was conceived. We all know that there are hundreds of things in every Disney thing that we don’t realize and it’s exactly the same with the ride. There’s the music in the queue, the cyclical nature of the dialogue, and many other aspects that were constructed so perfectly they can only be Disney.

So what happens when you take an already popular, established ride and make it into a movie? When other mediums do this, there’s some form of source material that’s around the same length. Maybe chop or add a few scenes but most of the time you can transfer one to the other with relative ease. At most the ride takes just over 15 minutes, not nearly enough for a feature film that ended up running 2.5 hours. Disney was lucky in that, because it had been long established, they knew what the riders liked and could transfer that to film. But that also became this movie’s crutch.

I’m inventing a new term here: Wazowski-ing. You know, the little green guy from Monster’s Inc.? And every time he sees himself in that ad it’s all pointing fingers at his obscured head. That’s what Disney did to this movie, albeit in a relatively OK way. It seemed that they sat in a room and worked out how to get from “favorite scene A” to “favorite scene B” without a ride system. Again, this isn’t a bad way to do it but there’s nothing in this movie that makes you go “wow”.

It’s been a while since I’ve watched any of the movies in this franchise and I think I’ll work on watching the rest soon. The best part about this is that there isn’t a second installment to the ride. That’s when Disney really is able to unleash their creative potential while still satisfying the audience.

Comment down below what your opinions of this movie are, and don’t forget to check out my Instagram Page (@ChrisMovieReviews), catch up on past reviews and new movie reviews on my YouTube (bit.ly/CMRYT), look at all the movies I’ve yet to review, and submit which movie you want me to review next! Stay safe and healthy out there!

A little bonus if you’ve made it this far: A family in Utah, while under quarantine, decided to recreate the ride in their home. It’s always nice to see creativity thriving even in these strange times. Enjoy! https://www.facebook.com/julie.f.thornock/videos/3382401841774818/

To Infinity…And The Bank

The last feature review I did was for Frozen 2 and as I mentioned in that, I was pleasantly surprised. Keeping up the trend of Disney+ and Self-Isolation, I decided it was time to watch Toy Story 4.

Now, before we go any further, I should point out that I love Toy Story. I grew up watching the movies and it will always hold a soft spot in my heart. When Toy Story 3 came out I was apprehensive but OK with how it ended. In fact, I wish it had ended there.

All Toy Story 4 was is an excuse for Disney to try and make more money. If this was a smaller studio, fine. But Disney is a huge company, they don’t need more money. Or if they do, make something new.

The movie followed the same format as the third: evil villain in the form of an old toy, trying to get them back together. The original characters of the first few movies barely make an impact and it doesn’t hold up.

I do have another complaint and it’s actually a weird one. The animation is too good. I know, weird, right? See, this is a movie about toys. When it first started I thought it might have been live action. That’s how good the animation is. But it almost destroys the movie with how realistic the movie looks. It’s almost creepy. The original few movies we knew it was animated. We knew because the animation looked like animation. Now it looks like some weird Frankenstein mutation between classic Disney animation and CGI like in the new Lion King.

I knew when it came out that Toy Story 4 wouldn’t hold up to the hype. Sure, I wanted it to. But also, Toy Story 3 ended it so nicely. Andy went away to college, and those who grew up with Toy Story were around college age. It would have been a perfect ending. Instead, Disney decided to be greedy.

Comment down below what your opinions of this movie are, and don’t forget to check out my Instagram Page (@ChrisMovieReviews), catch up on past reviews and new movie reviews on my YouTube (bit.ly/CMRYT), look at all the movies I’ve yet to review, and submit which movie you want me to review next! Stay safe and healthy out there!

Is This Just Fantasy?

I’ve always been interested in biographical movies that tell the story in a fun way. The same goes for history and all the other less-than-exciting topics in life. When done right, these movies can convey so much more than just what happened. They show us the inside voices of the characters, the motivations of each person.

That being said, Bohemian Rhapsody was…disappointing. Now you should all know that I do enjoy the music of Queen. I wasn’t alive when they first came on the scene but I know a few of their songs. However, that doesn’t matter in the world of film. What can be hoped for is a great experience where the audience is pulled in to what’s happening not just during the music parts but during the dialogue as well.

This sounds simple but dialogue is what needs to drive the story. It’s those little moments wherein we find out tidbits about the characters, where we listen to the inflections in a character’s voice. In a movie so focused on the music element, that dialogue becomes even more important.

I have to say that I was really disappointed in Bohemian Rhapsody. It could have been an amazing movie, if only they had put more work into the little things. I believe that so much of their work focused on replicating the looks and sounds of Queen that when it came time to actually be creative…they failed.

Comment down below what your opinions of this movie are, and don’t forget to check out my Instagram Page (@ChrisMovieReviews), catch up on past reviews and new movie reviews on my YouTube (bit.ly/CMRYT), look at all the movies I’ve yet to review, and submit which movie you want me to review next! Stay safe and healthy out there!

Let It Go Into The Unknown

I have to say, when Disney first announced that there would be a sequel to Frozen, I was mildly annoyed. I mention this in my review, but the first movie was fine. It became a cultural phenomenon and spurred millions of little kids to start screaming “Let It Go”. And then, I actually watched the movie.

It’s hard to think of a sequel that’s as good as the original movie, especially when it’s a one-off movie. I don’t believe that Frozen was ever intended to expand beyond the first movie. Of course when “Frozen Fever” took hold it was fairly obvious what was next for Disney: more money.

What I loved about Frozen 2 was the genius of the writing. So often in sequels you get everything squashed in or thrown out. You lose plots, characters, and who knows what else. All this for another grab at money. But, amazingly, Disney managed to not only include but expand on everything.

We see Arendelle some time after Else is queen. We see the trolls again. We see Elsa expand on her powers. We see Kristoff’s love for Anna. We see throwbacks to the original movie with the parent’s ship.

I really wish I knew whether or not Disney had always intended to make a sequel, and my hunch is they didn’t. Their approach to a sequel was so wonderful that I have to wonder why they didn’t put this much effort into other sequels (cough cough Rise of Skywalker).

It’s refreshing to see a sequel that isn’t haphazardly thrown together. From a writing perspective, I can only imagine the challenges the writers faced. Luckily there were phenomenal writers in the room and Disney was able to deliver another hit.

And, by the way, I’m not saying this movie was perfect. It was lacking in some areas, some songs were a bit iffy, and other minor things that stacked up. But for a sequel to be as good as this is truly a rarity.

Comment down below what your opinions of this movie are, and don’t forget to check out my Instagram Page (@ChrisMovieReviews), catch up on past reviews and new movie reviews on my YouTube (bit.ly/CMRYT), look at all the movies I’ve yet to review, and submit which movie you want me to review next! Stay safe and healthy out there!

Are We in the Matrix?

Before I get into this blog post, I just want to say that I will be doing all I can to continue these reviews in the midst of the CO-VID19 outbreak. Luckily watching movies is a relatively solo activity and can be done within quarantine. I encourage everyone to follow directions from the CDC and all other officials. Trust me, I know this whole situation sucks. But hopefully a love and interest in movies, exploring other worlds, and seeing how far we’ve come will help us get through it all. And with that, on to the review.


Our culture is seemingly engrained with the ideas from “The Matrix”. How many times have you heard about a glitch in the matrix? Or that the simulation is messed up? It’s incredible how this movie has somehow become such a relevant part of our society and yet it’s not one of those movies that pops in your brain. After reviewing “The Matrix” it adds more mystery as to why we don’t talk about it more.

The beautiful thing is, it’s the concepts in the movie that attract us. There’s plenty of concepts in movies from space/time travel to “the force” to superhuman powers. But the thing that I think truly makes the concepts in this movie stand out so much is how close they could be to our real world. Think about it: we’re now incredibly connected through technology. We’ve had stories given to us about real life now being what we think it is. Every day our technology advances and god knows where we’re heading with climate change and AI.

I’m not saying that this is what really happened. Just that the concepts in “The Matrix” really do make you wonder. What if we’re just a simulation? What if we don’t even exist? What is CO-VID19 is actually a computer virus? Interesting things to think about…

Comment down below what your opinions of this movie are, and don’t forget to check out my Instagram Page (@ChrisMovieReviews), catch up on past reviews and new movie reviews on my YouTube (bit.ly/CMRYT), look at all the movies I’ve yet to review, and submit which movie you want me to review next! Stay safe and healthy out there!

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